"Hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men is.  Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite like it—it’s very impressive."
Ken Wilber - The Integral Vision
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Ken Wilber (right) and Martin Ucik in conversation about Integral Relationships

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Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (and curious women) provides a practical map for singles and couples to co-creating an Integral Relationship. It integrates the growth potentials of body, mind, heart, and soul with healthy feminine and masculine polarities, putting them into a cultural and social context.  This allows men to meet women as opposite and equal partners at their level of consciousness to co-create sustainable love relationships that serve the greatest good for the largest number of people.

• The primary sexual fantasy, which judges females as harshly by their looks as it does males by their success.
• The primary emotional reaction of fear in females and shame in males.
• Learned gender roles.
• Healthy and unhealthy feminine qualities of communion and descending.
• Healthy and unhealthy masculine qualities of agency and ascending.
• Multiple intelligences, values, passions, interests, and needs.
• Effective communication skills.
• Eight levels of consciousness development—from archaic to transpersonal.
• Five levels of spiritual development—from gross to non-dual.
• Five levels of sexual development—from repressed to transcendental/sacred sexuality.
• Five levels of anima complex in men—from women as mother to women as equal partners.
• Five levels of animus complex in women—from men as alien outsider to men as equal partners.
• States of falling in love and how to navigate them successfully.
• Compatibility between different personality types, including the Enneagram and Love Languages.
• Our simultaneous wholeness as individuals and partialness in our relationships, culture and society.
• Intimacy, passion and the unconscious that form eight types of love —from non-love to Integral Love.
• Compatibility between partners based on their “Kosmic Address” (combining levels of development or “altitude” with the number of perspectives a partner can take).
• Sound advice how to heal and grow in an existing partnership, when to end a relationship with love and compassion, and how to find/attract a compatible partner for an Integral Love relationship.

12 Core Values of Integral Relationship Evolutionaries:*

1. We choose to love after attracting/finding a compatiple partner.
2. We see the depth of our heart and soul connection as well as the level of humility and devotion to our relationship as an indicator of our psychological health and spiritual realization.
3. We transcend our primary fantasy and base our relationship in Being values, versus material, sexual, or emotional neediness.
4. We use our relationship for ongoing mutual learning, healing, growth and awakening towards the capacity to love unconditionally.
5. We hold an evolutionary perspective and have reached or strive towards an integral, transpersonal or higher level of consciousness.
6. We continually develop, balance and harmonize our healthy feminine and masculine polarities and meet each other as opposites and equals to create synergy at the level of all the seven chakras.
7. We share a purpose for our relationship which is larger than either individual and is offered in service for the greatest good of the largest number of people.
8. We have an Integral Life Practice (ILP) with modules for the health of our body, mind, spirit/soul, and shadow, as well as ethics, sexuality, work, emotions, and relationships.
9. We make an explicit agreement to share our truths without the need for validation or acceptance from our partner, and to own our emotional reactions to our partner's reality.
10. We set and respect each other's healthy boundaries.
11. We share material resources and pursue an environmentally and socially responsible lifestyle.
12. We engage in sacred/tantric sexuality and practice monogamy out of choice instead of fear.
    

(c) Martin Ucik. Permission to use with reference to the author and this website. Click here for German Version

* These 12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries outline the relationship potentials for integrally informed men and post-postmodern (evolved) women.  They were inspired by Elizabeth Debold's 10 Core Values for Evolving Women (click here).

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4/28/11 Integral Relationship Newsletter No. 1

For men and women: