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Integral means "essential or necessary for completeness or wholeness"

In Integral Relationships we “integrate” the essential and complete relationship wisdom from pre-modernity, modernity and post-modernity that is available to us today and necessary to co-create healthy and enduring "wholistic" love relationships between opposite and equal partners with equal rights and responsibilities.

Couples in Integral Relationships balance and harmonize healthy feminine and masculine polarities at the survival/material, sexual/body, empowerment, emotional/heart, expressive, mind, and soul/spiritual levels (seven Chakras).

Based in deep intimacy, passion and commitment, these couples heal, learn, grow and awaken together to share their authentic evolutionary life purpose that serves the greatest good for the largest number of people.

Integral Couple

Resources for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries:

Book    Integral Singles
Events     Consultations

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Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (and Curious Women)
Order today at 50% off
"Hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete this book is. Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite like it—it’s very impressive."
Ken Wilber - The Integral Vision

"I am impressed by your scholarship!  You must be one of the first people in history to put the post-modern predicament as it relates to sex and romance on the integral map, and you’ve done an impressive job."
Andrew Cohen, Spiritual Teacher, Founder Enlighten Next Magazine 

"Martin Ucik's book, written as a manual for men, will be recognized as one of the most important books of the early 21st century."
Dr. Marj Britt - Senior Minister Emeritus, Unity of Tustin, CA
More Reviews

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Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men (and curious women) provides a practical road-map for singles and couples to co-create Integral Relationships. The book integrates the growth potentials of body, mind, heart, and soul with healthy feminine and masculine polarities, and puts them into a cultural and social context.  This allows men to meet women as opposite and equal partners at their level of development to co-create sustainable love relationships that serve the greatest good for the largest number of people.

Integral Relationships Covers:

  • That Love is unconditional - but relationships are not (and why).
  • The primary sexual fantasy, which judges females as harshly by their looks as it does males by their success.
  • The primary emotional reaction of fear in females and shame in males.
  • Learned gender roles.
  • Healthy and unhealthy feminine qualities of communion and descending.
  • Healthy and unhealthy masculine qualities of agency and ascending.
  • Multiple intelligences, values, passions, interests, and needs.
  • Effective communication skills.
  • Eight levels of consciousness development—from archaic to transpersonal.
  • Five levels of spiritual development—from gross to non-dual.
  • Five levels of sexual development—from repressed to transcendental/sacred sexuality.
  • Five levels of anima complex in men—from women as mother to women as equal partners.
  • Five levels of animus complex in women—from men as alien outsider to men as equal partners.
  • States of falling in love and how to navigate them successfully.
  • Compatibility between different personality types, including the Enneagram and Love Languages.
  • Our simultaneous wholeness as individuals and partialness in our relationships, culture and society.
  • Intimacy, passion and the unconscious that form eight types of love —from non-love to Integral Love.
  • Compatibility between partners based on their “Kosmic Address” (combining levels of development or “altitude” with the number of perspectives a partner can take).
  • Sound advice how to heal and grow in an existing partnership, when to end a relationship with love and compassion, and how to find/attract a compatible partner for an Integral Love relationship.
  • How to co-create a peaceful and sustainable future for all humanity.

12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries:*

  1. We choose to love instead of something that happens to us or that we attract.
  2. We see the depth of our heart and soul connection as well as the level of humility and devotion to our relationship as an indicator of our psychological health and spiritual realization.
  3. We transcend our primary fantasy and base our relationship in Being values, versus material, sexual, or emotional neediness.
  4. We use our relationship for ongoing mutual learning, healing, growth and awakening towards the capacity to love unconditionally.
  5. We hold an evolutionary perspective and have reached or strive towards an integral, transpersonal or higher level of consciousness.
  6. We continually develop, balance and harmonize our healthy feminine and masculine polarities and meet each other as opposites and equals to create synergy at the level of all the seven chakras.
  7. Share a purpose for our relationship which is larger than either individual and offered in service for the greatest good of the largest number of people, while also preserving the relative sovereignty of each individual.
  8. We have an Integral Life Practice (ILP) with modules for the health of our body, mind, spirit/soul, and shadow, as well as ethics, sexuality, work, emotions, and relationships.
  9. We make an explicit agreement to share our truths without the need for validation or acceptance from our partner, and to own our emotional reactions to our partner's reality.
  10. We set and respect each other's healthy boundaries.
  11. We share material resources and pursue an environmentally and socially responsible lifestyle.
  12. We engage in sacred/tantric sexuality and practice monogamy out of choice instead of fear.

(c) Martin Ucik. Permission to use with reference to the author and this website. Click here for German Version

* These 12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries outline the relationship potentials for integrally informed men and post-postmodern (evolved) women.  They were inspired by Elizabeth Debold's 10 Core Values for Evolving Women (click here).

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Now available:The Evolutionary Human
Click here for info and to order

Jack Buttler and Martin Ucik Video
Click on Image above to watch a conversation with Jack Butler: "Thanks Martin for being a great guest on the show and for creating frameworks and understanding to guide men towards what is really going on in their quest for fulfilling and enduring relationships."
Dr. Keith Witt reviewed Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men in the Sep. 2012 issue of the Jounal of Integral Theory and Practice.
"Integral Relationships is a magnificent synthesis of Integral Theory and current relationship literature and research."
German 1:49:46 Integral Relationships Introduction DVD at http://www.arimedia.tv/
Patricia and Martin Youtube
Click to see Patricia Albert and Martin discuss the highest possibility for Love relationships (or download/listen to better Audio)
Integral Beziehungen
The German Version of Integral Relationships is now available from Amazon.de, Phänomen Verlag and German book stores.

Click play above or right click here to download a conversation between Jack LaValley and Martin Ucik,
and here for an interesting conversation about arranged marriages
Listen to a 1 hour Interview in German with Martin at mann-sein.ch here
Listen to a 14 Minute Interview in German with Martin about Integral Relationships here
Visit Martin's blogs on Integral Life here
Download the conversation about 21st Century Relationships with Lion Goodman, David Richo, Robert Augustus Masters and Martin Ucik here. Click here for all other recordings

4/28/11 Integral Relationship Newsletter No. 1

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men is available here at a 50% discount or on Amazon.com as paperback and Kindle version.

For women we also recommend:

For men and women:

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